Monday, February 21, 2011

My Kryptonite

I don’t eat fruit. Can’t won’t don’t do it.

And I keep this a secret. Why? Try telling people you hate kittens. Or ice cream. There’s the blank stare, the doubt, “but what about strawberries?” Yes. I hate strawberries. I won’t go near pear, I detest banana. Even sweet little guavas. Even perfectly proportioned peaches. Even that innocuous avocado wobbling on the counter top, fuliguline and faltering. Even that glistening apple cut crisp with a blade. Vomit.

Hey, I don’t mind rabbit-food: I’ll eat carrots, broccoli and tomato. I’ll even drink juice to keep the scurvy at bay, but fruit? Something -everything- inside me screams “don’t do it!”

Oh, they can bloviate on the “goodness” and “healthiness” of fruit, but I know that is not true. Not for me.  Would you question a vegetarian? (“Oh go on, I’ll scrape the meat off...”) Would you tease or trick them? (“Ha, we’ll sneak  some meat in...”) This is my socially unacceptable phobia. My horror. My kryptonite.

And I must stay strong in the face of doubt. Persistent and unyielding.

Before...
Because while it means annoying waiters with endless menu dissection (“are you sure it doesn’t have fruit in / on / around / beside it?”)... it is all worth it for one of my favorite things in the whole world: a triple-deckered, whipped-cream-wearing, chopped-nut-sprinkle-dusted, wafer-sporting, utterly fruitless, chocolate hot fudge sundae (as big as my head).

...After :)

Okay...I’ll admit it, something here isn’t strictly true... Can you guess?

Answer: here

***
First Crusader Challenge
300 words or less:

• one secret
• one lie
• one interesting quirk
• one annoying habit
• one of your best character traits, and
• one of your favourite things in the whole world.

And must include the random words, “bloviate,” “fuliguline,” “rabbit,” and “blade”.


Keep kicking ass!

17 comments:

  1. I'd guess this fruit thing was a lie, except I'm not that big on fruit myself. It's not that I hate it, I just prefer it to be cooked with sugar and pastry.

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  2. Nice. Fruit: lie? Hmm. I'm a fellow crusader and new follower. Nice to meet you.

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  3. Hmmm....great entry. I have no idea what is the lie. I'd say the fruit bit, but you seem so adamant.

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  4. I think your telling the truth about fruit but... except that I spy some red juice on your sundae cup. That may mean you are lying about either fruit or at least strawberries.

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  5. I accept the fruit phobia. I have a friend who is the same. But ice cream? No way! See you around.

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  6. I accept your hatred of fruit, what I don't accept is your lie about hassling the waiters to get fruit-free dishes. Like it's difficult to avoid a banana. :)

    Awesome entry, I like the pictures at the end!

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  7. I wouldn't dismiss the fruit thing but aren't tomatoes technically a fruit as well?
    How don't dislike all fruit? I'll go with that. :)

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  8. Hello fellow crusader! I am a tad bit late, the whole house has been sick all week. So, I just thought I would pop in and just say Hi! :D

    I'm going to have to go with you changed meat to fruit! :D

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  9. I'm going with you don't really like broccoli.

    New follower and fellow crusader! Nice to meet you!

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  10. Hey- WOW I am so believing your convincing portrayal as a fruit-hater, I just don't know what the lie could be. That you don't eat rabbit food?
    great post!

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  11. I would have to guess that you also don't eat veggies, but I'm just not sure. Hmmm...

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  12. I'm going with the fruit. I think you love it really :-)

    Pleased to meet you, crusader.

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  13. But wait, isn't a tomato actually a fruit?? Lol! It's never made sense to me though, it isn't a sweet and freaking delicious as fruit;)Ok, you have to like at least one fruit, that has to be the lie. *says in a questioning tone* You're very convincing, I really don't know!

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  14. Hi from a new follower on the crusade. I like how you did the fugiline and faltering with the avocado! Actually I have met other people with a deep fear of fruit, too. Never heard it called krytonite before!

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  15. Thanks for all the comments and guesses – I am so happy to hear that there are other people who feel like I do about fruit... (I can’t believe you think I’d lie about something this huge *wink*)

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