Monday, February 28, 2011

Okay, so I lied...

But not about the fruit...
Vegetarian, piscetarian, gluten free – these dietary anomalies get intimidating names, but fruit-free? Freak seems to about cover it. I don’t mind the endless explaining and shoulder shrugging (“yep, just born this way I guess”), but having a label for it really would make my life easier.

And not about the broccoli...

I do eat that. Good for the brain. Anti-carcinogenic. And it’s actually not too bad (especially sprinkled with celery salt or crispy chicken).

And not about dissecting menus...
I learned to do that the hard way. A menu declaring “chocolate brownie” proved hideously evasive when said brownie arrived draped in berry coulis (ew). This foul drizzle rendered my brownie inedible (and if you don’t think so, see if any vegetarian will eat a salad with “beef coulis”).

Waiters are always AWESOME. In their absolute professionalism / morbid curiosity they listen to me work my crazy and then rescue me from whatever cherry-on-the-top or apple-sauce-on-the-side threatens my meal. The trick is never to assume that they have to help (because they don’t) and to always be super grateful (which I am).

The lie?

Tomato. Yep, technically it’s a fruit. So I don’t eat it.
Actually, I feel yucky that I even wrote it*.

Zan and Margo - it was so great to hear from people who are / know someone similarly afflicted – if anyone has a word for this thing, I’d love to know. We could get t-shirts :)

*Luckily, chocolate will fix me :)

Keep kicking ass!


  1. Interesting!

    I actually love fruit.

    So what puts you off? Taste or texture?


  2. Hi Misha! And also, eeeeee!!! I am totally sickened by the taste, texture, smell, touch, the whole shebang :( I don't even like writing / saying / hearing the names... more for you though, right?

  3. Ha! Crusade led me over here and I am ALSO taking over the world, but one nudist at a time. I will meet you in the middle, okay? If you prefer, I will keep the part of the world that grows fruit. I dig the stuff.

  4. I have friends with fruit allergies but I've never met anyone that hated them. I'm sure there's a name for it. Maybe it's a phobia?

  5. Wow. I'm sure it really is difficult to have to analyze menu items for hidden fruit. It's not something that is thought of widely as an allergen (maybe strawberries).

  6. Wow, this is... fascinating. I've never heard of someone with such distaste for fruit before... sounds like how I feel about mushrooms *shudder*.

  7. All fruit? Wow. I love fruit - almost all of it!

    It's nice to meet you, fruit or no :)

  8. new follower from crusade. Chocolate fixes everything.

  9. I won't even mention the "f" word. :) New follower and fellow crusader just (finally) making the rounds. Happy Thursday!

  10. Ha ha ha. I went back and read your post. You snuck those four words in there, smooth as glass. Nicely done! And I can see why you don't tell people you hate fruit. LOL. :-)

  11. I have a friend who won't eat tomatoes -- not even tomato sauce.

    W.I.P. It: A Writer's Journey

  12. Fruit really bugs you that much? Hmmm. I'm the same way with bacon.

  13. Jolene, I'm not quite as phobic as you, but I do understand. :-)
    I really cannot stand to eat much fruit. The occasional bit of watermelon or pineapple I can bear, a grape at a pinch, but apples, bananas, oranges, mandarins, rockmelon ... Just.Can't.Do.It. Too many instances of bruised, squashy fruit in the lunch box as a kid did me in, I think.

  14. @Hart - woohoo world domination! (Just as well there are enough worlds for everyone :))

    @Gen - it definitely feels phobia-strong... but why do I feel like a phobia would be even harder to explain??

    @Kari - it's not too bad, I've only been caught out a few times (damn you drizzled coulis!)

    @Tara - yep, all fruit (although I can tolerate looking at / smelling some more than others... I know, it keeps getting weirder..!)

    @Donea - much appreciated! Nice to see you :)

    @KO - most people are really good (but the people who aren't, reeeally aren't!)

    @Shannon - that is an AWESOME compliment, thank you so much :)

    @Faith @Lynda @Carolyn @Rachel - thanks for the sympathy / empathy / I-have-something-similar-thy :)

    @Diana - yay for chocolate!!